Saturday, January 5, 2008

Wednesday, November 14, 2007 - "Guilt, the gift that keeps on giving...."

I'm feeling a bit guilty tonight,
as I do most every night.

I'd just like to know, where is the line between being a good mom and just being human and needing time to myself? I love my kids. I love being with them, which is obvious, since we homeschool and are together all the time. But at the same time, at the end of the day - I'm ready for some time to myself.

I feel guilty when I put my children to bed because they each want to have some one-on-one time with mom. I love going in and saying prayers with them and tucking each one into bed. However, when I try to say "goodnight" and leave the room, it's usually met with pleads for me to stay and talk, snuggle, tell a story, sing a song, etc. I know that they really want to have that time, but in my mind, I'm thinking about all the stuff I still need to do before bed, or that I just want to do before bed.

I try to give them lots of lovin' during the day, and one-on-one time as much as possible. I guess it's just something about snuggling up in their beds for the night that makes them want their mama. (Which is likely my fault, since I was the one that rocked them to sleep for the first several years of their lives.)

It's hard to know where to draw the line.
I guess I have to decide which is worse: feeling guilty for cutting short the cuddle time so I can have some time to myself, or feeling guilty for not taking any time for myself?
Hopefully I'll find a happy medium sometime before they're grown and out of the house.

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